It's become officially official, if the title didn't clue you in already. June will be the last month we reside in this big, beautiful house we've called home for the past 4 years. Last night when the hubs and I got home from bowling my mom asked me if we were going for it and I officially told her yes!
The happiest smile, one I have not seen on my mom in a long time took over her entire face. There was a twinkle in her eye! I knew buying a big house and living all alone in it was only going to be great for so long for her. I knew she'd get lonely, and even miss us. She even said she missed hearing us opening presents Christmas morning while she got ready for work. She said she even missed hearing Scot (my husband) dictating to the boys "how things were going to happen", before they dove head first into an unwrapping shark-like frenzy. That actually made me want to cry.
I miss my mom. She moved out 5 months ago. She only lives, literally 4 minutes away. But I still miss her. I miss her coming home from work and plopping on the couch next to me and telling me about her frustrating day or about a beloved patient who finally passed away. I miss knocking on her bedroom door and saying "Hey, wanna play Scrabble?". Now if I want to play Scrabble or cribbage I have to call her and drive there or her here. She's back working full time and she's exhausted so mostly she stays home now. And I'm busy with my family in the evenings with dinner, homework, and all the other things you do as a parent with your kids so I can't just jump in my van and go see my mom.
I really miss my mom. My mom hugged me so tight when I got the phone call that I indeed had cancer. My mom drove me around when I didn't have a license or a car. My mom rented a house with my family and I because she knew we couldn't afford it on our own. My mom worked upwards of 3 jobs, no sleep, AND homeschooled us when my siblings and I were young, just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. My mom watched my first born literally tear her way into this world. My mom, even though she was already over extended financially living with us, paid a portion of my younger sisters rent every month for 3 years because she suddenly found herself a single mother with 2 young girls and got no help from her now ex-husband. My sister has found the best man ever though, but that's another story. A very long story. My mom suffered great illness, both physically and mentally my entire life, but she's never once given up on life or her kids. She would give you her last breath if it meant saving yours. My mom is a homecare hospice nurse. She sees life and death right before her very eyes almost daily. That takes some kind of strength. Strength I could never possess. My mom has made me get out of bed when I just wanted to give up.
I could write a book of all the things my mom is. All the things I'm not. All the things she did and still does for me that she didn't/doesn't have to do, but because she loves me unconditionally, she did/does them anyway. Nothing I could ever say or do can possibly express the love, gratitude and most sincere thanks I have for the mother I've been given to walk this thing called life with that could properly do what I feel and what I wish I could say any justice.
Now I've gone and made myself cry! It's a good thing I can type with blurry vision. I couldn't ask for a better mom than mine.
This blog post was originally supposed to be about our big move and all the changes it will bring for my family but it turned out my heart needed to talk about my mom. One of the most amazing, wonderful, best people to ever grace this earth. And that's ok with me!
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